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How to get a Boyfriend

by Captain Obvious

This is not just about how to get a date, this is how to get and KEEP a high-quality man who wants to be with you and only you - aka a boyfriend.

Men are extremely simple creatures, and getting a boyfriend is also simple: BE what men want.

Now I know for some of you what I just said may have been a bit upsetting - after all it goes against many things you've been told in your life, such as "just be yourself" or "he should love me for me". But if you look at the rest of the site (including our advice for men) you will find that everything we teach is about improving yourself. Think of it this way, there are two ways you're going to get different results from what you've been getting - the first is if the entire world changes to suddenly start giving you what you want... probably not going to happen. The second way is by changing yourself.

This is not about submitting to a man. This is about recognizing and stopping your negative habits, the habits that are keeping you from getting a man. It's also about starting new positive habits, habits that will improve not only your love life but your entire life.

What men want

  • Beauty - Men are attracted to beautiful women. This is buried deep inside our DNA and it's not going to change- accept it. If you want to find a man, especially a high quality man you will most likely have to make yourself more physically attractive, it's that simple. The #1 key to attracting a good man is showing off your beauty. Below I dedicate an entire section to how you can do this.
  • Sex - Once a man has had sex he will be driven by his desire for it for the rest of his life. If Bill Clinton was willing to jeopardize the leadership of the free world for some good sex, imagine how powerful this force is to men. The #1 key to keeping a good man is good sex. Again, there is more on this below.
  • Personality - I wanted to think of one word to describe the ideal personality for a woman that is attractive to the vast majority of men... that word is "sweet". Sweet means you are fun loving, caring, and drama free.

Showcase your natural beauty

The bad news is that 10% of beauty is in your genes - the shape of your face, your body type, your height, and your skin. The good news is the other 70% is cultivating healthy habits, and the final 20% is your style - and both of these last two are things you can change!

Many women make the mistake of thinking that men want ultra skinny super models. This just isn't true, what most men want is a healthy girl with curves in the right places. This type of body is created naturally with a proper diet and a little bit of exercise.
We mention exercise in almost every section of this site. I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to make exercise part of your life. Make it a habit, don't just do it as part of a temporary diet. Over time it always pays off. My best advice for how to enjoy exercise, find something you love to do and do that. For me, it's playing sports. I hate running for the sake of running, but I can run all day if I'm playing a sport. For you it might be dancing, rollerblading or biking.
Eat Healthy
Eating right is 90% of controlling weight. And it's not only important for weight control, it's also part having great skin and great energy. These days everyone knows what's good for them and what's bad for them. Here is my tip, eat lots of what's good for you and a little of what's bad for you. I find myself having a strong desire for sweets after dinner. I found that if I eat just a few chocolate chips after dinner my sweet tooth is satisfied. More on this in our How to Lose Weight section.

Now I know everyone in the world is giving you this advice.. .exercise and eat right. Well, if everyone in the world is saying it it's probably true! I know for me personally once I decided to make these two things a priority in my life my body changed, my energy changed, and even my personality changed all for the positive.

Style yourself attractively

A lot of women think they have to really overdo it with makeup, high heels and short skirts to attract a man. While this surely does turn heads it also tells a man that you're probably very high maintenance. In other words - if you dress like this you're going intimidate most men. Here is what I suggest:
  • Light makeup - A little makeup to enhance your eyes, lips and skin goes a long way. Personally I love the smoky eye look.
    Short comfortable heels - Heels do wonders to enhance a woman's legs and butt. But make sure they are comfortable and easy to walk in. Walking gracefully is more important than being 6 inches taller.
  • Form fitting (but not revealing) outfits - Showing of your curves is a must, don't wear boxy or oversized outfits. But definitely don't show off too much skin, this sends all the wrong messages.
  • Not too fashion forward - Most men don't care about Louis Vuitton bags, Tiffany earrings or Vira Wang dresses. If you're looking to impress other women then by all means spend the bulk of your income on clothes and accessories. However if you want a boyfriend, keep it simple.

How to Keep a man - Great Sex

Most women are unaware of this (probably because most men will never admit it to you) but the way most men decide if they want to marry you is if they think you can give them good sex for the rest of their life. Unless you are totally crazy, having a high sex drive almost always wins out over your other qualities. A man who is satisfied in bed will never leave you.

I could give you a list of things to do here, but the best way to find out what great sex means for your man is to ask him. The only small piece of advice I will give is to show enthusiasm, nothing is worse than having sex with a woman who is acting like she doesn't want to be there.

How to keep a man - Be a Sweetheart

Men like all types of personalities, but there is a few things that almost any man will be attracted to.
You like to have fun
Don't be the stuffy girl who's afraid to try anything or do anything. Let go and have fun, I can assure you nothing is more attractive to a man.
You let him be himself
Do not try to control your man. Let him be who he wants to be, and I assure you your life together will be that much better. If he doesn't want to be who you want him to be, sure you can try to change him, but I must warn you that many women have wasted the best years of their lives going down that path.
You're happy just the way things are
Nobody wants to be with someone who is constantly unhappy with them. Your life is awesome just the way it is and you need to love your man just the way he is. It's ok to ask for improvements, but be willing to improve yourself right along with him.

How to meet Mr. Right

Meeting the right guy is all about getting out there and letting men know you're available.
Smile and Flirt
Whenever you meet a guy you're attracted to, eye contact, smiling and flirting are good first steps. If you don't know how to flirt it's easy, just keep the conversation going and make sure to laugh whenever he tries to be funny. Touch his arm or shoulder is also a great move. It's also ok to say hi to a guy who looks too shy to approach you.
Let him know you're Available
Once you're engaged in conversation let it be known that you're single. End one of your sentences with "now that I'm single" or "since I don't have a boyfriend anymore". MOST guys even the shyest among us will get the hint.
Try Internet Dating
I was recently at the hospital with my wife while she was getting an ultrasound for our baby. The nurse asked us how we met. After we told her she mentioned to us that most people she asks the question of these days met online! Don't be afraid to meet online, it's a great way to meet people exactly like you who you'd never meet in real life.